Here’s the thing, old friends don’t need to explain. You know, REAL friends. They just continue where they left off. And that’s the beauty of it. It’s easy. We’ll fill in the blanks. Or not. Deal? I’ll take your silence as agreement. ;)
I think what I’m saying is….there’s just too much that’s happened since we last hung out. And it’s stressing me out. (The “catching up” of it). And I’m avoiding you. But we’re good friends…soooooooo let’s just continue where we left off. ‘Cause NOT having you in my life is bumming me out. Cause like, so many thoughts man. ;) So much living. It’s happening! And it’s just better when we process it together. (anyone else feel like I’m “dear diary-ing” you?), ha.
So, let’s START. Here.
And HERE comes with a slight disclaimer: Things may be a little less pretty and a little more basic. And OH MAN, I waaaaaaant to fill in all the holes and all the blanks. And if we were on a long road trip I’d talk your ear off and interrupt you a million bajillion times cause I have so much to SAY. But little hands seem to pull me away or press all-the-keys every time I sit down.
Can I backtrack a bit? I think (part) of the reason I stopped writing was also self-consciousness. I just got self-conscious about the direction of the blog. Not so much ITS direction, but a questioning whether it NEEDS a direction. Like, is it okay to just keep randomly rambling and not figuring anything out. Am I TRYING to figure something out? I donno, STOP LOOKING AT ME! ;)
Also, I was starting to get some recognition as a “blogger.” And while that felt really good, what does that even MEAN? I wasn’t sure that I wanted this blog to be a spot for collaborations with companies. But MAYBE?! Yeah, maybe! ’Cause that’s kinda interesting…
But then should I tone down the stream-of-consciousness and all the feeeeeelings and pretend I know what I’m talking about? Or like, be more mom-bloggy? Or maybe less mom-bloggy? But probably more. Right? (the answer is: calm down, just keep moving).
I haven’t figured it all out. I’d LOVE for my creativity to lead me to opportunities. And it has already! I have in fact formed more direction since starting this blog. In the meantime, I don’t want to think about “someone else” looking at this space for it’s “marketability.” Afterall, it gets in the way of all the “figuring it all out” business. ;)
So that’s that. And I’m glad I’ve put it out here.
TIME has been a big excuse for NOT blogging. But ya know, life isn’t ALL or NOTHING. I have a history of living it that way. But really, consistency is a thing too. A REAL thing.
Okay, now that we’ve gotten the apologizes and crazies out of the way…
WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU? Also, THANK YOU to all the people sent me sweet emails and left comments on how much you’ve enjoyed this space. And even missed it. It means a lot to me. And the reality is, this space although neglected has made a big difference in my life. It’s helped fuel a reawakening of my desire for a creative life. It’s caused me to be more vulnerable and open. And it’s given me some real (and lasting friendships). Who knew?! Cheers to the internet. ;)
I’ve heard through the grapevine that commenting on blogs is SO two years ago. But friends, I’m SO two years ago, so can you please leave a COMMENT for me if you’ve gotten this far. Are you “all or nothing?” Do you think I’m really back to blogging?? (totes am, totes). ;) What day of the week is it today?? ;) I always feel a little anxious right before hitting “PUBLISH.” I always think, “who CARES?!” But I’m gonna hit “publish” anyway.