Even before my first sip of coffee on November 1st, I received a text from a dear friend in San Francisco (hi Jess!) wishing me a “Happy November 1st.” Dear friends know that the beginning of a new month is always a hopeful for me. It means a ton to have someone else stand in that possibility and belief of “fresh & new.” Truly.
It’s funny, but our friendship is marked by this ability to share our utter humanness (ugliness & failure flapping in the open), and still listen with complete belief in each others’ hopes and desires. Even if it means stepping over 827 sabotages and “chicken outs” of the past. Cause you know, there’s always a new day. And definitely a new month. I don’t know why it is, that some relationships are completely free of cynicism. I’m so thankful.
And it’s a reminder to be kinder, less judgmental of my talents, and more trusting in myself. Why is that so much harder?
We decided (over text) that two months left in the year is just the right amount of time to make an impact. It is, doncha think? I want to end 2013 with my head up high. Who doesn’t?
Right now, I feel like I have a lot of good things going on. I’ve been connecting with more creative people, I have some new photography opportunities, I have good people in my life, Ingrid & Oliver is running, we have some home remodels coming up, and Mateo is at my favorite age so far (the talking and all that silly mischievousness!). BUT I’m really tired, always a little flustered, and overall just feeling stuck in a game of catch-up. And so, what will make a difference in my life is scheduling, organizing, clear goal/task setting and focusing on my health. It’s the boring stuff, but the reality is that I have more projects and goals than I have time or energy for. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and run in circles instead of forward when that happens.
Taking care of the boring stuff clears out some of my anxiety and leaves more room for needed breakthroughs and the unpredictable magic stuff. ;) And it also leaves a more present mother to Mateo and wife to Aki.
If I’m going to be completely honest, I’m kinda grumpy this morning. And I’ve already snapped at both of my boys. But I still mean every word. And I feel better for admitting that. :)
T W O M O R E M O N T H S.
Why yes, I did take that photo up there myself with a tripod. :) It’s one of my favorite portraits of myself. ever. Go figure.