Ta-DAAAAA! That is a MUCH lighter head of hair. It’s been thinned out, layered and chopped up “real good.” (in a good way). As I revealed in my Liebster answers, a possibly surprising ‘Henna fact’ is that I haven’t had my hair cut (professionally) since I was 18 years old. That’s a decade +2 if you’re counting. I mean, I chop it willy nilly whenever I get the urge, but quite honestly there’s no rhyme to my reason. (I don’t know what I’m doing). Well friends, the streak has been BROKEN. Or has it? If you recall, this new length is the unplanned work of my friend Angela, who although a very talented interior designer, is not actually a hair-dresser. Nor is her living room a salon. She does have the confidence of a professional. That counts for something, right?
We laughed afterwards about which was better — that I said “sure” (without thinking twice) when she asked if I wanted her to cut my hair. Or that she took scissors straight across and watched half a foot of hair hit the floor (without thinking twice). Quite honestly, I think she’s the braver one. She actually checked in the next day to see if I had any regrets (and possibly make sure we were still friends). My answer was easy. I don’t have many regrets and my hair is most certainly not one of them. Hair grows. And anyway, I looove it.
Leave it to me. I can’t just REVEAL/show-off my new hair without it making me thiiiiink. I’m an odd mish-mash of dichotomies. I’m the girl who is spontaneous enough to buy a ticket to Japan (with the last $1,000 in my bank account) because I’ve been invited by someone I’ve had a few good lunch conversations with. And omg, tickets are on SALE. (opportunity, why think?!). The girl who buys ONE-way tickets to Europe. (you can always go home if things don’t work out!). Who will let her friend take off half of her hair on the fly. (it’s just hair!). But then I’m also the girl who will sit with a knot in my stomach for two whole months because I’m afraid to make a phone call, or afraid to show my work without 1,000 apologies for why it’s not “good enough.” The “think too much” goes along with “judge too much” and “worry too much.”
One of the qualities that attracted me most to my husband, Andrija (Aki), is that he’s the type that says, “I’ll figure it out when I’m there.” If he wants to learn something or do something, he just makes the decision to go for it. He’s not hung up on the fact that he doesn’t know how to navigate new waters or have the skills (yet) to succeed in a new area. He says, “I’ll figure it out.” And he does. There’s the analogy of “throwing your hat over the wall” just so you’ll have to climb over to get it. I’m guessing that strategy produces more results than sitting and looking up at the wall all day. Confidence in yourself means you can worry less about HOW you’re going to get there and more about WHERE you want to go.
It makes sense that Angela was the one to cut my hair, and why she’s the crazy person who doesn’t worry that she doesn’t actually know how to layer hair. [Side note: if only there was a transcript of that whole process! — "Do you want layers?" ... "Maybe if I just twist it and then chop?" ... "You seriously have the hair of four people!" ... "Oh wow, it looks way better on this side. I'm going to fix the other side."]
For the same reason that I was attracted to Aki, I was intrigued by Angela. When we met, she was just about to launch a furniture/design shop online. I asked if she was excited and whether she was nervous. Her response stuck with me. She said something to the effect of, “I don’t really get nervous. I just focus on what I want to do.” She describes herself as somewhat of a delusional dreamer (hello, kindred spirit!). Funny thing about delusional dreamers — in the next two years I saw her written up in Remodelista, Rue, Chicago Magazine, and Ummmm, Elle Decor Italia (!) just to name a few. There’s something to be said for dreamers who just focus on what they want to DO.
I have wasted a lot of time in my life sitting in a puddle of nerves and not trusting myself to move forward or go out on a limb. It took me a long time just to start this little blog. Really. I even considered keeping it a secret. Part of my confidence has come from facing fear and another part is from the support around me. I’m thankful to have people in my life who see me for my full potential and who are believers and do-ers themselves.
These days I don’t have the same paralyzing fear to show my imperfect thoughts or my imperfect work. Or even to reveal that I don’t KNOW exactly what I’m doing (in any of my roles). Believe me, I could talk your ear off about what is wrong with every little thing that I do or make, but it’s not as important to me anymore. I want to learn and I want to move forward. Every day that I create, my confidence grows. And luckily, my taste is killer. ;)
It’s funny that this post began as simply a haircut reveal. I like where it ended up. That’s life isn’t it? We set out in one direction but find new inspiration along the way. And if I may be so bold, please don’t worry too much, or think TOO much. Trust that you’ll figure it out. And don’t forget to remind me when I forget. I’ve also heard it said that we are the five people we spend the most time talking to. It’s important to guard who we keep in our lives. Be around the people who see you for the best version of yourself. That’s my two cents you didn’t ask for. ;)
And MOST importantly, do you like my HAIR????
If you find inspiration in “imperfect beauty,” check out Mablle on facebook. Mablle is Angela’s beautiful, new, and exciting pet project set to launch Fall 2013. I like to be a part of a new beginning, join in. You can find me over there sometimes as well.